“This is Financial Abuse and I Will Kill Myself”

These are the words of Leela yesterday afternoon, after I tried to convince her that 260-256 is 14 and not 16 like she had insisted. I realise that this is definitely a form of abuse. Threatening self harm because of your partners actions is something that was always asked of me when I reported Leela’s abuse to the police. When I was asked before by the police, I could only vaguely remember her saying something along the lines of self-harm but last night was a very different picture, one where Leela shouted the words “I would kill myself”. I understand how this is abuse, one partner is controlling the other with threats of self harm, left with the possibility of guilt should the abusive person go through with said action, he or she is expected to oblige to their demands. 

escape plan

Narcissistic abuse escape plan needed. Whilst I pondered writing this on my fb wall to everybody except my abusive wife, I realised that I do not even need to say or do anything not even move and I can feel her making me feel bad just for being me, amazing talent narcissist!! 

I need your help but can't say to your face. Thank you

When somebody/anybody puts YOU down constantly, makes you feel like you can't do anything right, makes you feel small, worthless, fearful, invisible and bad - just know YOU didn't do anything wrong, this isn't love, caring or any type of relationship, and most importantly THIS IS EMOTIONAL ABUSE, and you need to get away from this person or situation.

Thank you for the words, Greg Zaffuto. 

Married, with children

Married now. With one child. Known each other for one year and one month.

In the last year together me and Leela have bought a house, had a baby and got married. I don't think either of us have been this busy in our entire lives. Well, I know I haven't.

"Consume more, enjoy less."

This phrase sticks in my mind. For no reason at all. A piece of graffiti (I once read on a Reading train station toilet cubicle wall) has stuck in my mind for the last, I don't know how many years, and for no apparent reason. 

Moorhen

Looking out for moorhen
Like a human only more than
Silly place to nest
End of mooring not the best
And still people park their boats
Attention to a nest they wont
Greedy human beings
Any smaller don't have feelings

Ti Amo

I love you. I can say it to myself oh so easily and yet to speak this to another can be very hard for me. "Ti amo" seems to roll off the tongue a lot easier and landed me with a girlfriend in Italy  but "I love you" doesn't want to be said. Maybe I should have stuck with an Italian girlfriend.